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KEYS TO A
SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE
Unless the Lord builds the house,
they labor in vain who build it.
Psalm 127:1
Murray and Pat
married in 1989 after meeting
through an organization called
Christian Widows and Widowers.
He had been a widower for two years after
a 40 year marriage,
and she had been a widow
for seven years after a 28 year marriage.
The following article is the result of an
accumulation of
78 years of marital experiences.
If these thoughts
can help some young person
to build a foundation for a strong marriage,
or help to heal a broken marriage,
our prayers
will have been answered.
Key 1
One of the foundations of a lasting marriage is to
BE COMMITTED
to each other and to making the marriage work.
A generation or two ago, marriages were stable
and divorce was not as widespread as it is today.
We believe this was due to the commitment of people
entering into the marriage relationship.
Divorce should not be an option.
There are situations, of course, where there is
abuse and infidelity which cannot, and should not
be tolerated.
Not in every case, but in most cases, if discernment
is used in Key 2, this type of abuse will not be found.
Key 2
One of the most important keys to a
successful marriage is to
CHOOSE THE RIGHT MATE.
2 Corinthians
6:14-16
Young people get caught up in the romance and the
physical attraction, and they don't consider whether
the object of their attraction
will help or hinder them in their
spiritual development.
Of course, the foundation for choice
should have been laid years before.
Just because a person falls in "love",
doesn't necessarily mean that person you "love"
would make a good spouse.
Hormones need to be governed by reason.
God made us creatures of choice.
In fact, our lives are a product of the choices we make.
Galatians
6:7-8
Key 3
An admonition for young people.
REMAIN SEXUALLY PURE UNTIL MARRIAGE.
Your marriage will have a greater chance of success
if you do. Young people today who are taking a stand
against pre-marital sex are to be applauded.
Ephesians
5:3-5
Aim for Success
non-profit organization that promotes
sexual abstinence until marriage
True Love Waits
Lifeway Biblical solutions
Courtship and Marriage
Laura and Paul
the story of a courtship ending in marriage
Key 4
Early in the marriage a couple needs to
ACCEPT GOD'S PLAN FOR THE FAMILY
Let Christ be the head of the family,
and let the husband be the
spiritual leader in the family.
A loving husband will not be overbearing.
Ephesians
5:22-23
Key 5
DON'T WITHHOLD LOVE AND AFFECTION
or use it as a weapon to get your own way.
God has given specific instructions about the
physical relationship between husband and wife.
1 Corinthians
7:3-5
Key 6
LISTEN TO ONE ANOTHER.
Keep the lines of communication open.
Few things can be more detrimental to a marriage
than the refusal of one of the partners
to discuss problems.
Work it out together if you can, but don't hesitate
to get outside help in the form of Christian counseling
if it is required.
Key 7
DON'T NEGLECT YOUR SPOUSE
while you are raising your children.
Long after the children have left home,
you will need each other.
A loving relationship must be built
while the children are growing up.
Key 8
Money can cause problems so
COME TO AN AGREEMENT ABOUT
THE HANDLING OF FINANCES.
Sometimes this is a joint effort,
but sometimes one partner is
better equipped to handle the family finances.
The other partner needs to defer
to the one with this gift.
Key 9
TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH
so that you can enjoy
your relationship with one another
for many years.
1 Corinthians
3:16
Key 10
GIVE EACH OTHER ROOM
FOR INDIVIDUAL GROWTH
and for personal likes and dislikes.
One may be a sports fan, the other may not.
Not all things have to be shared.
Key 11
BE WILLING TO SAY, "I'M SORRY"
when you are wrong.
Truly mean it, and try to make improvements.
Key 12
BE WILLING TO FORGIVE
when you have been wronged by your spouse.
Matthew
6:14-15
Key 13
Make every effort to
ARRANGE FOR THE WIFE AND MOTHER
TO BE IN THE HOME
during the years when the children are growing up.
A working mother with young children is actually
holding down two full time jobs.
She has little time nor energy left for her husband
at the end of the day.
Titus
2:4-5
Key 14
As parents
SUPPORT EACH OTHER IN THE
DISCIPLINING OF THE CHILDREN.
Failure to do so will cause the marriage
and the children to suffer.
Key 15
Hold your spouse in high esteem.
MAKE POSITIVE REMARKS
ABOUT YOUR MATE
TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY.
If you and your spouse have celebrated
50 years of marriage
or if you know of someone who has
such a long-lasting marriage,
let us know, so that we can give honor
on a special page of
GOLDEN WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES
A TRIBUTE TO OUR PARENTS
Thanks to Bible Gateway for the scriptures.
We have referenced them
in the NIV version.
You may want to explore other translations also.
The Marriage Tool Box
Family Life.com
Page Comments
Most Recent Comments (
See more comments on this page
)
2009-10-18
This sight was a port in the storm.
2009-09-19
Wife #1 was under threat of incest from her father, which I discovered 8
months after marriage. I had liked her because she was friendly. Wrong:
desperate. She deserted after 21 months, taking 1yo daughter. She had been
unfaithful for a month prior to desertion, later had another daughter via
that man, then later again married him.
Wife #2 was very intelligent
but difficult to please. After 11 years, she tricked me into taking a
holiday on the other side of the country at her mother's house, then
took out a (fake) violence restraining order agaist me, divorced me 16
months later, taking our 2 children (10yob, 8yog).
#2 has Passive
Aggressive Personality Disorder plus Obsessive Compulsive Personality
Disorder (different to straight OCD) plus Agoraphobia. Proffesional slang
terms "control freak" & "pain in the rear" (AKA
"impossible to please"). Honesty is the first thig out the door.
Symptoms include playing the victim (her nickname before meeting me was
"the Martyr") & terror of intimacy, meaning that I never
really got to know her but was blamed for every one of (her)
failures.
Met a lass on line born one day after me. My youngest
daughter has nearly identical names to her youngest's -- who is same
age as my eldest. After one year I knew her better than enyone else I'd
ever known.
She is _totally_ honest. It turns out that her
ex-husband is also PAPD.
I flew across the planet to meet her. Each
of us is now deeply, _confidently_ in love with the other.
We are
eager to be married, but are _very_ reluctant to make another mistake.
Lion year of the Tiger
2009-08-15
Thank you so much for this. I know I read about this before but not quite
applied certain stuffs...
Lucita (mrsroynihoa_AT_aol_DOT_com)
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Page Comments
| Most Recent Comments ( See more comments on this page ) |
|
2009-10-18 This sight was a port in the storm. |
|
2009-09-19 Wife #1 was under threat of incest from her father, which I discovered 8 months after marriage. I had liked her because she was friendly. Wrong: desperate. She deserted after 21 months, taking 1yo daughter. She had been unfaithful for a month prior to desertion, later had another daughter via that man, then later again married him. Wife #2 was very intelligent but difficult to please. After 11 years, she tricked me into taking a holiday on the other side of the country at her mother's house, then took out a (fake) violence restraining order agaist me, divorced me 16 months later, taking our 2 children (10yob, 8yog). #2 has Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder plus Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (different to straight OCD) plus Agoraphobia. Proffesional slang terms "control freak" & "pain in the rear" (AKA "impossible to please"). Honesty is the first thig out the door. Symptoms include playing the victim (her nickname before meeting me was "the Martyr") & terror of intimacy, meaning that I never really got to know her but was blamed for every one of (her) failures. Met a lass on line born one day after me. My youngest daughter has nearly identical names to her youngest's -- who is same age as my eldest. After one year I knew her better than enyone else I'd ever known. She is _totally_ honest. It turns out that her ex-husband is also PAPD. I flew across the planet to meet her. Each of us is now deeply, _confidently_ in love with the other. We are eager to be married, but are _very_ reluctant to make another mistake. Lion year of the Tiger |
|
2009-08-15 Thank you so much for this. I know I read about this before but not quite applied certain stuffs... Lucita (mrsroynihoa_AT_aol_DOT_com) |
Leave a Comment View all Comments
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