Our choice of a mate is an extremely important decision. Once a woman chooses a man to become her husband, he is her companion, the father of their children and the ruler of their home.

Before she gets caught up in the planning of a wedding, she needs to give much thought into this serious matter of selecting a mate. It is vitally important that she select a godly man who will understand what it means to be her head. He knows Jesus' teachings and he is a committed Christian.

It is written of Christ,"He is head of the body, the church; he is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that he might come to have first place in everything."Colossians 1:18

As God taught the Jews, He gave them commandments to be obeyed. One commandment was their not marrying outside of His people. We read in Deuteronomy 7:3-4," Nor shall you make marriages with them. You shall not give your daughter to their son, nor take their daughter for your son. For they will turn your sons away from following Me, to serve other gods; so the anger of the Lord will be aroused against you and destroy you suddenly."

God does not want us to marry those who might lead us away from Him. We are warned about marrying mates who are not believers of the Lord and how that can lead us into apostasy. The word apostasy means a rejection of your beliefs (often in favor of opposing beliefs). Another meaning of apostasy is a total desertion or departure from a cause.

The Old Testament is there for our learning. Over and over we read of people marrying outside their lands into foreign lands. In these foreign lands, the people did not follow the Lord's commands. Anyone who married a person from another land was highly risking falling into apostasy.

We read in II Corinthians 6:14,"Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?"

When I think of a yoke, I have a mental picture of two oxen plowing with a yoke joining them together in that effort. The Jews did not plow a field with an ox and an ass yoked together. The animals had to be of the same breed. God commanded it that way.

In Leviticus 19:19 we read," You shall keep my statutes. You shall not let your livestock breed with another kind. You shall not sow your field with mixed seed. Nor shall a garment of mixed linen and wool come upon you. "

" So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. "Matthew 19:6
The Lord God has continually wanted His people to keep in the forefront of their minds that they are separate from the world. " Therefore , come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean and I will receive you."II Corinthians 6:17

We need to stop and put much thought into any marriage proposal. The man you marry will need to have values close to yours, and he will need to be kind and gentle. We should both want a Christian household. Is the man you are considering to be your prospective husband a faithful Christian? Ask yourself, "Will he help me get to heaven, or will he turn me away from the Lord's teachings?" We want to make certain he understands we are to be faithful to each other as Christ was to His church. Am I determined to be faithfully devoted to him and him alone?

If the woman wants children, they both need to discuss this before she buys the invitations. In all decisions the woman and the man need to agree.

We read in Revelation 21:2," And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband." Before the woman chooses her wedding gown, the man and woman both need to sit down and seriously talk about how they would raise their children. The woman needs to ask herself, "Will he provide and care deeply for me and the children and put us second only to God and Jesus Christ? Has he broken the apron strings or will he compare me always to his mother?"

"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." Matthew 19:4-6

When we think of what that term " homemaker" really means, it is an honor to be able to stay home and make the home a Godly home. Even if you are only able to stay home for a couple of years with your children, you can give them a firm foundation.

Years ago I heard a story of a young recently married couple. This couple had a car accident. The man's injuries were not serious, but his wife's injuries were very serious, because of the side of the car she was in when the accident occurred. Her face was massively disfigured and she would need a lot of extended surgery to correct her facial injuries. Her surgeries were spread out over a few years. As she was in such pain, her husband rarely left her side. He truly loved and cared for her until her physical beauty was restored. Then he continued to love and care for her, they grew old together. He showed her unconditional love. I was told the story was true.

Ask yourself these questions: Will he love me as I get older? Does he want to grow old along side of me? Does he want to be married to me until death parts us? Will I be able to balance being a wife, possibly a mother and then needing to work? And will I find happiness being a wife, mother and a homemaker?

Jesus Christ has unconditional love for us. He died for us and rose again and ascended to heaven to be with God, His Father.
We need to have unconditional love for our spouses and our children. " Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. " Ephesians 5:33

Discussion and study questions:
(1) What can happen if a woman marries a husband who is not a believer ?
(2) Why is it so important to marry a godly man?
(3) What example do we have of same breed of animals teamed together?
(4) What did God continually want his people to keep forefront in their minds?
(5) What Biblical example of unconditional love do we have?

Copyright 2007 Linda Lawrence