God's Exquisite Garden



"Please Talk to Me." In our homes communication is a basic need. We are so fortunate that we have communication. It is such a delight to talk and listen!

A word spoken in season, how good is it" ! "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver" . Proverbs 15:23, 25:11 (NKJV)

Our complications in life are multiplied by the lack of communication. Many times the communication we use often causes disarray. This is done as bridges are destroyed that we may need to use. There is a story that tells of a farmer who had trouble in guiding his mule, but he said nothing. He was asked why he didn't speak to the mule and he responded, "That old mule kicked me five years ago and I ain't spoke to him since." Even in a noisy crowd, people can be lonely.

Building the lines of communication needs to be carefully done and then maintained in the home. "People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges" (Joseph E. Newton). Communication is more than just speaking.. The Scripture admonished us: "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath" (James 1:19).

Lyndon Johnson, while a senator, had this sign in his office: "You ain't learning nothing when you're doing all the talking." Listening is essential to communication. Listening has a way of saying ”"To me, you are an important person. I appreciate you, I accept you, I love you, and I want to hear what you have to say." It is only by listening that we can correctly respond.

Something that has helped me many, many times is thinking to say things I myself would like to hear. Doing this will first cause us to think before we speak. Secondly, we will realize what we are going to be saying. We will be considerate of the other person. We might have to rearrange the wording. Remember all that we say does reflect back upon us.

The reflection would be on our character. I am sure that you probably have heard someone who spoke inappropriately. My son points this out to me at stores, etc. We see how their speech affects how we view them. By their words we judge if they are speaking carelessly and abruptly, or if they are speaking thoughtfully and considerately.

There's also the tone of voice being used. When someone is yelling, no one likes it. Unless they are at a sporting event, yelling is not appreciated. You may have heard the old saying,"You can get more with sugar than you can with vinegar." That is so true! Try speaking with a softer, gentler tone of voice for a day. See the difference for yourself! It will make a huge difference with our spouses, our children and our friends. The change in your tone will affect your careers, and all your contacts in life. You will be calmer also. Often we say things rashly and lose friends, jobs, or close contacts. Our contact that we have with relatives may be affected. Many times, if we conscientiously think of the words and their impact, we will not say them.

I have a cousin by the name of Mike S. When I was about 9 or 10 years old, Mike had a saying that he kept on his desk in his room. The saying was, "Before you open your mouth, be sure that your brain is engaged." I remember it clearly. So often, it is difficult to think of these things. But, they show maturity in your thinking ability when they are used. Others will see you differently. In all of your relationships, your communication is noticed. Once you see this, you will realize the importance of good communication.

Your communication can either have a positive or a negative influence on you. Again, it will affect your career, your family life, your friends, your neighbors, all contacts that you have in life. It has a magnitude that is exceptionally important.

In the book of James, he distinctly directs us in the use of our speech. We can find in James 1: 26 "If a man thinketh himself to be religious, while he bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his heart, this man's religion is in vain." A bridle is used to control a horse. The bridle has the purpose of controlling the horse. The horse's mouth holds a bit, or the bridle is held on the nosepiece. James is telling us that we need to control our tongue as a horse is controlled by a bridle.

For years I worked in a school district. When I heard countless students attempting to use inappropriate language, I told them to use appropriate school language. May we never be guilty of using communication inappropriately.

A saying my mother said many times to me was, " Say what you mean and mean what you say." Such a simple saying can mean so much.

Much speaking and lying are cousins.
To speak much is one thing, to speak well, another.

German and Greek proverbs from "Great Thoughts"

It is easy for men to say one thing and think another.
Speech both conceals and reveals the thoughts of men.

Latin proverbs from "Great Thoughts"

Recommended book: Search at Alibris for
"What Do You Communicate, Women's Practical Guide to Everyday Relationships"
by Sandra Humphrey.

Copyright 2007 Linda Lawrence